In this post, I want to talk about my fear of traveling because of the Tourette and how people will see it.
I noticed that every time I get out of my comfort zone and my safe places, my Tourette starts to go wild. I think it’s because I need to adjust to a new surrounding which affects my nervous system and it becomes unsettled. Over the years I have found that there is a direct connection between my mental state and the nervous system which affects the Tourette. If I am stressed and unsettled, then my ability to control the Tourette is lower, and the Tourette is showing, which happens when traveling.
When I travel to different places, there is the fear of what will happen with the Tourette and how the new environment will react. Usually, I start to think about all the scenarios a long time before I travel and I start to go into a spiral that I don’t get out from it well. I usually start thinking of the bad scenarios more than the positive ones, and it’s not good for me.
I try my best to change my pattern of thought, but most of the time I don’t succeed, and it frustrates me.
My nature most of the time is more pessimistic than optimistic which is not good for me and I need to change it. I think that this is why I have in mind the worse scenarios more than the good ones and it drives me nuts. I know that usually when I go I have fun and I experience an uplifting feeling but it’s hard to change myself and I try my best to do it.
I remember when I flew to Canada to visit my family from my father’s side I had a great time and the Tourette was under control most of the time. I was looking at it and wasn’t afraid. I love Canada, and I feel like a Canadian, so I feel at home there. I still had it but wasn’t afraid to show it.
It wasn’t the case when I went with my father to Scotland and this summer with my family to Greece. I know that the fears aren’t rational, but I can’t stop having them even though I try not to let them take control.
I think that the more I exercise my brain in thinking positive thoughts before I travel, the easier it will be in the future. I believe that I need to look at it as an exercise for myself in getting better on the mental side, to be a more optimistic person.
I need to take every time as a separate case, and in the end, I will get better at it which will make my life easier and simpler. If I continue on the path that I am on now, I think I will get there