In this post, I want to talk about relationships and Tourette. How I see this from my point of view.
Relationships are very complex by nature, and when you add Tourette into this equation, it makes it very complex and maybe in some way almost impossible. A person with Tourette has emotional baggage that he deals with on a daily basis. It’s not something that passes. Tourette is a neurological disorder that I will need to deal with the rest of my life, and I don’t see it as something that will heal. When you add relationships to what all of that entails, it’s very tough and hard to manage.
For me to start a relationship is very difficult even if I didn’t have Tourette because of my nature that I inherited from my father. It is the introspective nature which I have perfected and have taken to a new level. My mother always says that my father and I are like the Israeli intelligence agency: barely talking at all and especially not about our feelings.
On the one hand, I want to have a person to live my life with as I grow old. But on the other hand, there is the Tourette that I have to deal with, and I am afraid of how the other side will react when she sees it. In the past, I didn’t let women close to me because I didn’t know how they would react to the Tourette. I was and still am afraid of what the reaction will be when she sees the Tourette. Also, I am afraid because of the heartbreaks that come with it. I try to be like Brad Cohen in the movie “In Front of the Class” where he went out on dates and got married despite the Tourette. He didn’t let it get in his way. Also, I get inspiration from two friends from the Tourette group that got married and have kids despite the Tourette. I want to be like that and not let the Tourette also dictate this aspect of my life.
I am afraid of the reaction of the other side when she sees the Tourette. Because it’s not something that I can hide and it shows right away. Also, I am afraid of the heartbreak if it won’t succeed because of the Tourette. I know that this attitude is not good for me. I can honestly say that I try to follow the inspiration that I took from Brad Cohen and two friends from the Tourette group which is to date, despite the Tourette, and enter into relationships. I know that I need to change the attitude in my brain and to dare more and not to be afraid of that. For although I will surely have heartbreaks, in the long run, I will only benefit from it.
It’s easy to say and write, but it’s hard to implement, and I must start by changing my mindset. It’s tough for me to do but I know that I must do it for myself and not give up on myself in this aspect of my life.